Friends and "Friends"

I wasted far too much time last night searching Facebook for names from my past. It's interesting to realize that my life thus far can be compartmentalized into all these little circles (which occasionally overlap like Venn diagrams). Certain circles are clear-cut - each school and university I've attended, each job I've had, and geographical regions where I've lived. But more nuanced are categories like childhood friends (from different schools, my neighborhood, or children of family friends).

But I digress... As I excitedly typed in one name after another, I wondered - why would I want to get back in touch with a classmate or co-worker with whom I was not particularly close to at the time? Further, why would they want to hear from me?

I kept proving my hypothesis that many of my friends and associates are not on Facebook. While I got a few "hits" on familiar names, none of them were folks I'd consider "friends". Most people I know are in their 40s or older, so statistically they're already less likely to be there, and several don't really do email outside of work.

My definition of a friend is someone who's my friend. Even if I haven't seen you in five years, that doesn't matter, we are still friends. If I work with you, or used to, if you're an old classmate or family friend, then to me, we're more like "associates". This is not meant to offend anyone, but it's my worldview. It doesn't mean that at some point in the future we might become friends or re-establish our friendship, but that would remain to be seen.

I've observed that as I've held different jobs and gone to different schools, attended church etc... that certain groups exist during a certain time in your life. When I left Cox Cable, I eventually lost touch with everyone. I've pretty much done that with San Diego too. It's not like I did this on purposes, but sometimes we have things in common with others that just don't translate to long-distance relationships. Does this make sense at all? Bottom line- I don't see myself ending up with 100 friends on Facebook, and I'm comfortable with that. (I'm still impressed with all of you who do have numbers like this!)